


Simps, Hell, Chaos :)

by SK2__MP



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bottom Kageyama Tobio, Chaos, Chatting & Messaging, Cute Kageyama Tobio, Don't Judge Me, Drama, Draw Me Like One of Your French Girls, F/F, Forgive Me, Gay, Harems, Healthy Relationships, Hell, Help, Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio Friendship, I Don't Even Know, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, I'm Going to Hell, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Sorry, If you only read one work by me, Implied Relationships, Innocent Kageyama Tobio, Just Friends, Kageyama Tobio is a Good Friend, Kageyama Tobio is a Little Shit, M/M, Mistakes, Multi, Oblivious Kageyama Tobio, Oops, Oops and Hi, Please Kill Me, Popcorn, Rage, Relationship(s), Swearing, Texting, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, This Is STUPID, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, You Have Been Warned, You Should Have Come to Shiratorizawa, Yum
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:16:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SK2__MP/pseuds/SK2__MP
Summary: Oh noes, what have I done-Haikyuu crackhead groupchat :)Everybody simps for kags relationship or notLet him be the star <3aNyWaYs LeT's FuCkInG gO
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Kageyama Tobio/Everyone, Kinoshita Hisashi/Narita Kazuhito, Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou, Kozume Kenma/Tsukishima Kei, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shimizu Kiyoko/Yachi Hitoka, Tendou Satori/Ushijima Wakatoshi
Comments: 46
Kudos: 230





	1. WELCOME TO HELL

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to hell enjoy your stay <3

_Blueberry has created a groupchat._

_Blueberry has added Hinata Shouyou, Deadchi, Sugamama Coochie, and 10+ others._

Deadchi: What have you done

Blueberry: Chaos :)

Sugamama Coochie: Why is my name this-?

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: LLFNSKDMNDBAHAJAJ

Humpty dumpty: HABDBSJBSJSJ

Humpty dumpty: WAIT

Humpty dumpty: WHAT IS MY NAME TF

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: BAHAHHAJWJDJJSJ

Rawr: It suits you.

Humpty dumpty: NO IT DOESNT YOU STUPUD FUCKING DINOSAUR

Rawr: stfu humpty dumpty

Look at all those..Roosters: NEIGHHBAHAHHAHA

No game no life: This is a ✨mistake✨

Blueberry: No, this is a ✨Happy accident✨

Humpty dumpty: HAPPY ACCIDENT BYE-

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: JAIL

Hey hey hey i'm gay: HEY HEY HEY THIS GROUPCHAT LOOKS FUN

Pretty Boy hooters: Bokuto-san no...

Sugamama Coochie: OMG AKAASHI IS THAT YOU OMG THE NAME I'M DEADJFNDJND

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: BAHAHHAHAHA

Pretty Boy hooters: OH HELL NO KAGS CHANGE IT BACK I CAN'T

Blueberry: STFU DON'T YELL AT ME PRETTY BOY HOOTERS 

Pretty Boy hooters: THAT'S NOT MY NAME STOP DJDNJD

Sugamama Coochie: KAGEYAMA TOBIO CHANGE THE NAMES BACK.

Blueberry: TRY ME MR.COOCHIE.

Sugamama Coochie: OMFG DJDNNDNS

Humpty dumpty: KAGS YOU CAN'T DRAG US LIKE THIS 😭

Blueberry: I CAN AND WILL HUMPTY DUMPTY BITCH I HOPE YOU REALLY FALL OFF A WALL

Humpty dumpty: NOT THE WALLKDHDJJD

Deadchi: i'm just not gonna interfer with kageyama right now...

Rawr: kings angry

Thanksgiving Yams yum: you shouldn't have said that Tsukki...

Rawr: shut up yamaguchi

Thanksgiving Yams yum: Gomen Tsukki

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: YAMAGUCHI YOUR NAME KDNDKSK

Thanksgiving Yams yum: ...oh

Rawr: WTF KING

Blueberry: DO NOT CALL ME KING JARASIC PARK SALTY FUCKING DINOSAUR BASIC BLOND COCKY 5INCH BITCH.

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: HOLY SHIT

Tangerine: OMG

No game no life: Sorry you deserved that one.

Look at all those..Roosters: YOU HAD TO ROAST MY DINOSAUR LIKE THAT

Blueberry: WANNA TRY ME YOU ROOSTER ATTENTION SEEKING BITCH GO COCK A DOODLE DO SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Look at all those..Roosters: So mean 😭😭

Look at all those..Roosters: Kenma kittennnn

No game no life: I'm not dealing with two boyfriends that just got roasted tyvm.

Deadchi: I think it's time we go to bed.

Blueberry: yea go tf to your coffin bitch.

Deadchi: ...

Deadchi: 100 laps.

Blueberry: only gonna add more muscles to my thighs <3

Deadchi: Why do I deal with this...

Blueberry: Why are you still here sugas coochie is waiting 

Deadchi: ....

_Deadchi is offline._

Tangerine: Well damn...

Tangerine: Goodnight kags! 

Blueberry: Gn Hinata :)

Pretty Boy hooters: THAT'S SOME BS.

No game no life: *sigh* gn

_Everybody is offline_

Blueberry: And that's why they be getting STDs period.


	2. TOO HIGH CAN'T COME DOWN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Kags tipsy or just acting like a crackhead at 2am?
> 
> Or is everybody just high...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M UPDATING EARLY SO ENJOY MY CHAOS I'LL BE UPDATING WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT AND MAYBE SOME LONG CHAPTERS OR SHORT SO HOPE IT MAKES YOU LAUGH-

> 2 AM

Tangerine: Y'all I think kags is drunk-

Sugamama Coochie: WHAT?!

Blueberry: hunata gurl you boke

Tangerine: SEE?!

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: OH THIS IS GONNA BE FUNDJJDJ 

Pancake with a side of Bitch: OOOH LET ME GET MY TEACUP READY

Grrrr Shittykawa: Stupid ass bitch..

Humpty dumpty: LMFOANDJD

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: I LOVE THE MEME ENERGY WE HAVE CREATED IN THE STUDIO

Who let the dogs out?!: Wtf is this.

Humpty dumpty: KAGS REALLY DISSED EVERYONE ON NAMES 😭

Blueberry: stufu youre just still satly about you being humptu dumpty

Look at all those...Roosters: NOT HUMPTY DUMPTY 😭

Rawr: Cut the cameras....Deadass

Blueberry: no cut your satlyl bitch stingyshima additude deadass.

Pretty Boy hooters: I think it's time we calm down and go to bed.

No game no life: ^

Sugamama Coochie: ^

Tangerine: ^

Look at all those...Roosters: ^

Grrrr Shittykawa: ^ Please do I want to study

Pancake with a side of Bitch: I wanna have fun though :(

Blueberry: You mean ride your iwa-chan like a fucking jorse into the sunset?

Pancake with a side of Bitch:....

Grrrr Shittykawa: No <3

Humpty dumpty: NOT THE HEART DKDN

Pancake with a side of Bitch: YOU NEVER GIVE ME HEARTS MEAN IWA CHAN

Blueberry: That's because I actually matter to people <3

Pancake with a side of Bitch: Mean tobio-chan!

Blueberry: It's the getting called Shittykawa by your own boyfriend for me <3

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: HEHEHE DRAG HER

Pancake with a side of Bitch: It's the almost getting slapped by your idol for me <3

Humpty dumpty: HOLY SHIT CHILE

Pretty Boy hooters: OMG Y'ALL PLAY DIRTY CHILL AND GO TO BED

Blueberry: IT'S THE ACTUALLY GETTING HIT CONSTANTLY FOR ME YOU TRICK ASS HOE

Look at all those...Roosters: Y'ALL PLEASE

Hey hey hey i'm gay: AKAASHI STOP THEM :(

Pretty Boy hooters: I don't think I wanna mess with kageyama anymore..

Deadchi: KAGEYAMA TOBIO.

Blueberry: THAT'S MY NAME SPEAK IT PROUDLY

Blueberry: NVM I DON'T WANT MY NAME COMING FROM THE DEAD

Sugamama Coochie: KAGEYAMA TOBIO.

Blueberry: STFU MR.COOCHIE

Deadchi: KAGEYAMA TOBIO I AM YOUR FATHER.

Blueberry: PACK IT UP DARTHVADER

Humpty dumpty: SNATCHED

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: JAIL

Look at all those...Roosters: OMGKSNDKD

Tangerine: BAKAGEYAMAJDNDKJDKD

Pancake with a side of bitch: When did tobio-chan get so mean 😭😭

Blueberry: It's the slap for me <3

Grrrr Shittykawa: Tobio Kageyama go to bed.

Blueberry: Oh yes daddy-

Grrrr Shittykawa:....

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: NOT CAILLOUJDNDKNDND

Humpty dumpty: BYE-

No game no life: This is hell.

Pretty Boy hooters: you can say that again.


	3. DADDY CHILL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nap time :)  
> Kags is running for the hills in heels give him respect.

Tangerine: WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

Sugamama Coochie: WHAT IS WITH YOU GUYS AT 2AM OMG

Tangerine: KAGS IS RUNNING FOR THE HILLS IN HEELS.

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: I CHOCKED WHAT

Blueberry: YOU MENA YIU CHOCKED ON ASAHIS COKCKDN

Tangerine: OMG DON'T RUN AND TEXT

Blueberry: STFIBOKE IMR UNNJING

Sugamama Coochie: HINATA EXPLAIN WHY MY CROW IS RUNNING AT 2AM IN FUCKING HEELS.

Tangerine: KAGEYAMA AND ME WENT TO THE STORE TO GET MILK BUT A THERE WAS ONE LEFT AND ANOTHER GUY WANTED IT AND KAGS WOULDN'T BACK DOWN AND KICKED THE GUY IN HIS CROTCH WITH HIS HEEL AND THE GUY GOT PISSED AND NOW HE'S CHASING HIM.

Sugamama Coochie: OMFG OVER MILK

Blueberry: MIELK IS VVERY PORTANT

Tangerine: LESS TALKING MORE RUNNING 

Pancake with a side of Bitch: OMG I JUST BACKREAD TOBIO-CHAN WHY

Blueberry: A SARCUFURCE MEESF T VE MADE FOR MILK

Grrrr Shittykawa: Kageyama just let the guy have the milk.

Blueberry: NOT IVER DEACHUS DEAD BODY

Deadchi: I'M NOT DEAD

Blueberry: KEEP TELLING YOUTSLT YHAT

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: KAGS YOU SAVAGE

Humpty dumpty: KAGS YOURE CRAZY

Blueberry: IM CRAXYBUT YOU LIKE THAF

Pretty Boy hooters: I bite back <3

No game no life: Daises on your nightstand

Blueberry: NEVRR FRGEY

Barry the bee: What is this

Osamoo: I don't fucking know piss hair

Barry the bee: OMG HOW MANY NICKNAMES DO YOU GUYS HAVE OF ME

Blueberry: NOT IYR FAULY YIUR EASY TO INSULT

Barry the bee: Where's Omi Omi when you need him :(

Osamoo: What so he can just call you a germ?

Look at all those...Roosters: LOL

Hey hey hey i'm gay: RIP ATSU :(

Blueberry: BACK TO THE KORE JMPRTANT TOPIC HEPP ME

Tangerine: OMFG WHERE ARE YOU

Sugamama Coochie: OMG YOU LOST HIM?!

Tangerine: HE RAN TOO FAST THOSE HEELS ARE LIKE SONIC BOOTS I SWEAR

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: HOW DOES THIS MAN RUN IN HEELS TF

Humpty dumpty: SAY +1 FOR RESPECT

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: +1

Tangerine: +1

No game no life: +1

Hey hey hey i'm gay: +1 :D

Pretty Boy hooters: +1

Look at all those...Roosters: +1

Barry the bee: +1

Osamoo: +1

Sugamama Coochie: *sigh* +1

Deadchi: +1 (i'm still mad though)

Pancake with a side of Bitch: +1

Grrrr Shittykawa: +1

Blueberry: Aw ty guys <3

Blueberry: NOW FUCJING HEPP ME

Tangerine: PLZ HELP IT'S EITHER HE GETS TACKLED OR HE'S GONNA KILL THIS MAN

Sugamama Coochie: SHARE YOUR LOCATION I'M OMW

_Tangerine has shared his Location._

Look at all those...Roosters: DINO BABY CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR AND RECORD IT FOR ME?

Look at all those...Roosters: IK YOU'RE UP SO RECORD IT PLZ

Rawr: Fuck you.

Look at all those...Roosters: That's my job though?

Rawr: ...

_Rawr has went offline_

No game no life: You're so dead when he sees you.

Look at all those...Roosters: I'll make sure neither of you can walk next time we meet dw :)

No game no life: Tetsu you asshole

Look at all those...Roosters: I'll be fucking yours ;)

_No game no life has gone offline_

Pretty Boy hooters: I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that..

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: BAHAAHAHA OMG

Humpty dumpty: SCREENSHOTTED.

Sugamama Coochie: Why does this groupchat exist...

Deadchi: I really wish it didn't honestly

Sugamama Coochie: Also deadchi get your ass over here and help me.

Sugamama Coochie: *Deadchi

Sugamama Coochie: OMG *Daichi

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: **Daddy

Sugamama Coochie: Grounded.

They see me Rollingu THUNDA: Worth it :)


	4. OOPS I DID IT AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mama....Just killed a man :(  
> Put a heel against his head... 😔  
> Kicked him now he's dead ;'(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHY AM I LIKE THIS-

Tangerine: ....

Sugamama Coochie: Omfg what happened now i'm getting TIRED OF YALLS BS

Blueberry: Mama..... :(

Barry the bee: not the mama 

Osamoo: Stfu ratsumu

Barry the bee: WELL IF I'M A FUCKIN RAT YOU SHOULD BE THE CHEESE

Osamoo: Your hair is the cheese you dumb bitch

Barry the bee: Why do I even try 😔

Barry the bee: Give me a reason why 😭

Barry the bee: I thought that I could trust you nvm :'(

Barry the bee: I'm just lookin for some real friend....

Osamoo: Stop trying to make me feel bad with lyrics.

Barry the bee: Is it working :D

Osamoo: No comment.

Sugamama Coochie: Stfu

Sugamama Coochie: Now tell me what is it my precious crow?

Blueberry: Just killed a man....

Sugamama Coochie: YOU WHAT?! OMG I TOLD YOU TO STOP KICKING PEOPLE IN THEIR DICK WITH HEELS

Rawr: I sure had a show when I recorded it.

Look at all those...Roosters: Omg you did record it send it Kei!

Rawr: Fine.

_Rawr has sent an attachment._

Look at all those...Roosters: OMG KAGS REALLY DRAGGED HIM FOR MILK

Hey hey hey i'm gay: POOR DUDE HE JUST WANTED MILK

Blueberry: THAT BITCH CAN FIND MILK SOMEWHERE ELSE TYVM

> In the Kags Simp chat

Sugamama: Can we just agree kags is such a Tsundere?

Oinkawa Snortu: Omg yes Tobio-chan is soo cute especially when he pouts!

Team Iwaizoomi: Too bad he's mine

Sangwoo: Back it up there he's mine.

Sugamama: All of yall back it up he obviously likes me more.

Deadchi: Babe, we're legit dating you can't have him. Simping and claiming him are different.

Sugamama: Right...

Sugamama: Okay I have an idea

Sugamama: Firstly, who here is in a relationship but still simps for him say 'x'

Deadchi: x

Sugamama: x

Cock-A-Doodle-Doo: x

Kazoome Kenma: x

Tsukki: x

Red angry bird: x

You should have come to shiratorizawa: x

Sangwoo: x

Omi omi: x

C'mere Pretty Boy: x

I got big buns: x :)

Sugamama: Wow okay then..

Sugamama: So that leaves...

Sugamama: Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Suna, and Osamu.

Sugamama: I have a solution.

Team Iwaizoomi: What might that be?

Oinkawa Snortu: What did refreshing-kun come up with today?

Suna Dracula: I'm curious.

Grandpa Twin: Same.

Sugamama: You four can all date my baby crow! :)

> _Mean while in the Main chat..._

Tangerine: IT'S CEREAL FIRST BAKAGEYAMA

Blueberry: NO IT'S MILK FIRST YOU BOKE

Tangerine: NO IT'S NOT

Blueberry: ARE YOU DUMB, STUPID, OR DUMB IT'S FUCKING MILK FIRST

TendOw!: KAGS IS RIGHT

Ushiwaka waka i'm gay: I disagree with Satori and Kageyama.

TendOw!: WOW GOING AGAINST ME WHILE BEING WRONG?! SHAMEFUL

Blueberry: IKR WTF ARE THEY ON DRUGS THIS IS MADNESS

Blueberry: YALL BOTH BETTER BE FUCKING LYING IF YOU THINK THAT CEREAL GOES FIRST IT GETS SOGGY AND DISGUSTING AND THAT'S NOT WHAT CEREAL WAS MADE FOR IT WAS NOT MADE TO BE SOGGY THAT'S LIKE EATING SOGGY COOKIES

Tangerine: SOGGY CEREAL AND COOKIES ARE AMAZING

Blueberry: WTF

TendOw!: YOU HAVE AN ISSUE

Blueberry: THAT'S WHY ALL YOUR TEETH NOT GONNA BE STRONG AND THEY GONNA FALL OUT CAUSE YOU'RE A DUMB SOFT BITCH AND YOUR TEETH GONNA BECOME WEAK AND THEY GONNA ALL FALL OUT AND I AIN'T BUYING YOUR DENTURES

TendOw!: WEAVE SNATCHED. PERIODT. FAX NO PRINTER.

Tangerine: YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DRAG ME YOU MEANIE

Blueberry: SPEAK TO ME WHEN YOU ACTUAL EAT CEREAL THE RIGHT WAY HOE

Ushiwaka waka i'm gay: I am now on Satoris' and Kageyamas' side, sorry Hinata.

Tangerine: WOOWWWW

Blueberry: SEE THEY AGREE NOW GO FIX YOU A BOWL OF THE RIGHT CEREAL.

Tangerine: FINE OMFG I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Blueberry: I ONLY SPIT FACTS RESPECT THE DROP KAREN.

TendOw!: I'm going to show my bf how to fix a bowl of good cereal bye Kags!

Blueberry: Bye you guys :)

_TendOw! Is offline._

_Ushiwaka waka i'm gay is offline._

Blueberry: See kids? Unless y'all want softie teeth and dentures you better eat milk before cereal periodt. 💅 ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Milk first kids.


	5. HAIKYUU TEXTING STORY NAMES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The names for the characters if you get confused

Kageyama Tobio - Blueberry

Hinata Shouyou - Tangerine

Daichi Sawamura - Deadchi

Sugawara Koushi - Sugamama Coochie/Sugamama

Atsumu Miya - Barry the bee/Sangwoo

Osamu Miya - Osamoo/Grandpa Twin

Suna Rintarou - Suna Dracula/Emo Bat

Kuroo Tetsurou - Look at all those...Roosters/Cock-A-Doodle-Doo

Tsukishima Kei - Rawr/Tsukki

Kenma Kozume - No game no life/Kazoome Kenma

Tanaka Ryuunosuke - Humpty dumpty

Ennoshita Chikara - In the closet mom

Nishinoya Yuu - They see me Rollingu THUNDA 

Asahi Azumane - Timid Priest

Bokuto Koutarou - Hey hey hey i'm gay/I got big buns

Akaashi Keiji - Pretty Boy hooters/C'mere Pretty Boy

Sakusa Kiyoomi - #EndTheKarens/Omi omi

Iwaizumi Hajime - Grrr Shittykawa/Team Iwaizoomi

Oikawa Tooru - Pancake with a side of Bitch/Oinkawa Snortu

Ushijima Wakatoshi - Ushiwaka waka i'm gay/You should have come to shiratorizawa 

Tendou Satori - TendOw!/Red angry bird

Kentarou Kyoutani - Who let the dogs out?! 

Yahaba Shigeru - The leash

Kunimi Akira - Sleep eat repeat

Kindaichi Yuutarou - Trolls 3

Narita Kazuhito - Naruto

Kinoshita Hisashi - In the closet Iwaizumi #5

Yaku Morisuke - Jack and the

Haiba Lev - Beanstalk

Shimizu Kiyoko - Genderbent Kageyama

Yachi Hitoka - Mousy : Piggy

  
  
  
  
  



	6. Cock a dick a doodle do wtf man

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just...chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is uhm not me typing this on a deku keyboard looking at him as he bangs his head as a child like a crackhead while it's 2:40 am :D god fucking dammit it's tuesday

**[2:46 am]** Blueberry: what's sleep?

**[2:57 am]** Blueberry: honestly wtf is it 

**[3:00 am]** Blueberry: I feel like the devils gonna come for this fatass

**[3:01 am]** Blueberry: or did I mean cum?

**[3:02 am]** Blueberry: idk anymore

**[3:15 am]** Blueberry: is nobody else up?

**[3:17 am]** Blueberry: @everyone WAKE UP

**[3:18 am]** Tangerine: BAKAYAMA YOU ASSHOLE WE'RE TRYING TO SLEEP STOP KEEPING US UP BECAUSE YOU'RE UP

**[3:20 am]** Blueberry: I honestly don't remember giving a flying duck.

**[3:20 am]** Blueberry: *fuvk

**[3:20 am]** Blueberry: *FUCJ

**[3:21 am]** Blueberry: THIS IS BULLSHIT FUCK MORNINGS I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP

**[3:22 am]** Tangerine: Goodnight bakayama :)

**[3:25 am]** Blueberry: shut the actual fuvk up you deku water fountain dumbass tangerine idiotic self up.

**[3:26 am]** Blueberry: have a lovely night everyone :) ♥ (expect some non important people)

_Blueberry is offline_

**[3:27 am]** Tangerine: don't worry bakayama I won't tell anyone because......i-i'm such a good friend 😭✋

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wtf is wrong with me   
> I would have included more characters but I don't think anyone would be online at 2am and they would either be studying, fucking, or for some reason sleeping
> 
> Anyways uh goodnight? I don't know why i'm saying goodnight like I ever sleep- bye i'm gonna question my braincells and sanity


	7. WHAT'S UP FUCKERS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was gonna try writing a longer chapter but I figure this could be the one fanfic where I can freely post less than 1k words per chapter for the sake of my sanity :')
> 
> Hinata and Kageyama arguing, what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Name Log:
> 
> Kageyama Tobio - Blueberry
> 
> Hinata Shouyou - Tangerine
> 
> Daichi Sawamura - Deadchi
> 
> Sugawara Koushi - Sugamama Coochie/Sugamama
> 
> Atsumu Miya - Barry the bee/Sangwoo
> 
> Osamu Miya - Osamoo/Grandpa Twin
> 
> Suna Rintarou - Suna Dracula/Emo Bat
> 
> Kuroo Tetsurou - Look at all those...Roosters/Cock-A-Doodle-Doo
> 
> Tsukishima Kei - Rawr/Tsukki
> 
> Yamaguchi Tadashi - Thanksgiving Yum
> 
> Kenma Kozume - No game no life/Kazoome Kenma
> 
> Tanaka Ryuunosuke - Humpty dumpty
> 
> Ennoshita Chikara - In the closet mom
> 
> Nishinoya Yuu - They see me Rollingu THUNDA 
> 
> Asahi Azumane - Timid Priest
> 
> Bokuto Koutarou - Hey hey hey i'm gay/I got big buns
> 
> Akaashi Keiji - Pretty Boy hooters/C'mere Pretty Boy
> 
> Sakusa Kiyoomi - #EndTheKarens/Omi omi
> 
> Iwaizumi Hajime - Grrr Shittykawa/Team Iwaizoomi
> 
> Oikawa Tooru - Pancake with a side of Bitch/Oinkawa Snortu
> 
> Ushijima Wakatoshi - Ushiwaka waka i'm gay/You should have come to shiratorizawa 
> 
> Tendou Satori - TendOw!/Red angry bird
> 
> Kentarou Kyoutani - Who let the dogs out?! 
> 
> Yahaba Shigeru - The leash
> 
> Kunimi Akira - Sleep eat repeat
> 
> Kindaichi Yuutarou - Trolls 3
> 
> Narita Kazuhito - Naruto
> 
> Kinoshita Hisashi - In the closet Iwaizumi #5
> 
> Yaku Morisuke - Jack and the
> 
> Haiba Lev - Beanstalk
> 
> Shimizu Kiyoko - Genderbent Kageyama
> 
> Yachi Hitoka - Mousy : Piggy

**[Blueberry]** Do you ever buy a tangerine and throw it around cut it up into shreds and watch it bleed fluids out? Asking for a friend.

**[Tangerine]**...Mom pick me up i'm really scared.

**[Sugamama Coochie]** You're on your own Hinata i'm turning into a wine mom y'all are too much <3

**[Tangerine]** :'(

**[Sugamama Coochie]** :)

**[Tangerine]** Are none of you concerned?!

**[Blueberry]** Why would they be concerned nothing's wrong Boke :)

**[Tangerine]** DID YOU GUYS EVEN BACK READ TO SEE WHAT THIS DEMON CALLED ME!

**[Rawr]** No one cares shrimp.

**[Tangerine]** SHUT THE HELL UP STINGYSHIMA

**[Sugamama Coochie]** And you guys wonder why i'm turning into a wine mom smh

**[Pretty Boy hooters]** Don't worry Suga-san we'll get through this together :)

**[Sugamama Coochie]** To hell and back <3

**[Timid Priest]** I don't think that's how the saying goes-

**[Sugamama Coochie]** Shut up asahi ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

**[Timid Priest]** `(*>﹏<*)′

**[Tangerine]** You guys are worshipping a demon (¬_¬")

**[Blueberry]** Isn't that how hell works?

_Tangerine is offline_

**[Sugamama Coochie]** I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE AKAASHI I'M PUTTING MY KIDS IN YOUR CARE.

_Sugamama Coochie is offline_

**[Pretty Boy hooters]** W h a t. 

**[Pretty Boy hooters]** WAIT A DAMN MINUTE SUGA GET BACK HERE YOU CAN'T BE A WINE MOM WITHOUT KIDS THE HELL I DON'T WANT YOUR DEMONS.

**[Tangerine]**...are we orphans :(

**[Blueberry]** Should have got that abortion while you had the chance (*￣3￣)╭

**[Tangerine]** BAKAYAMA DON'T ENCOURAGE HIM /(ㄒoㄒ)/~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment for scenarios you want me to write~ <3


	8. Guys? Guys? GAYS?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please let this be a normal conversation..
> 
> With Kageyama? No way!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you elias030 for this idea <3
> 
> what better ways to write crack then at 3am?
> 
> (Me listening to best friend at 3am? Couldn't be me /cough/ that's my bestfriend she a real bad bitch /cough/)
> 
> Name Log;
> 
> Kageyama Tobio - [Blueberry]
> 
> Hinata Shouyou - [Tangerine]
> 
> Daichi Sawamura - [Deadchi]
> 
> Sugawara Koushi - [Sugamama Coochie]/[Sugamama]
> 
> Atsumu Miya - [Barry the bee]/[Sangwoo]
> 
> Osamu Miya - [Osamoo]/[Grandpa Twin]
> 
> Suna Rintarou - [Suna Dracula]/[Emo Bat]
> 
> Kuroo Tetsurou - [Look at all those...Roosters]/[Cock-A-Doodle-Doo]
> 
> Tsukishima Kei - [Rawr]/[Tsukki]
> 
> Yamaguchi Tadashi - [Thanksgiving Yum]
> 
> Kenma Kozume - [No game no life]/[Kazoome Kenma]
> 
> Tanaka Ryuunosuke - [Humpty dumpty]
> 
> Ennoshita Chikara - [In the closet mom]
> 
> Nishinoya Yuu - [They see me Rollingu THUNDA] 
> 
> Asahi Azumane - [Timid Priest]
> 
> Bokuto Koutarou - [Hey hey hey i'm gay]/[I got big buns]
> 
> Akaashi Keiji - [Pretty Boy hooters]/[C'mere Pretty Boy]
> 
> Sakusa Kiyoomi - [#EndTheKarens]/[Omi omi]
> 
> Iwaizumi Hajime - [Grrr Shittykawa]/[Team Iwaizoomi]
> 
> Oikawa Tooru - [Pancake with a side of Bitch]/[Oinkawa Snortu]
> 
> Ushijima Wakatoshi - [Ushiwaka waka i'm gay]/[You should have come to shiratorizawa] 
> 
> Tendou Satori - [TendOw!]/[Red angry bird]
> 
> Kentarou Kyoutani - [Who let the dogs out?!] 
> 
> Yahaba Shigeru - [The leash]
> 
> Kunimi Akira - [Sleep eat repeat]
> 
> Kindaichi Yuutarou - [Trolls 3]
> 
> Narita Kazuhito - [Naruto]
> 
> Kinoshita Hisashi - [In the closet Iwaizumi #5]
> 
> Yaku Morisuke - [Jack and the]
> 
> Haiba Lev - [Beanstalk]
> 
> Shimizu Kiyoko - [Genderbent Kageyama]
> 
> Yachi Hitoka - [Mousy : Piggy]

**[Blueberry]** ...Guys?

**[Blueberry]** Guys!

**[Blueberry]** GAYS

**[Blueberry]** Plz help mem there's someone n=knocmgn at my door pkz

**[Blueberry]**...mom

**[Blueberry]** I knoq danw well i'm more important then sleep-

**[Blueberry]** pleaswe

**[Blueberry]** I'M AT THE STRIP CLUB?!

**[Blueberry]** NOT EVEN THT WORKS GIDDAAMMIT

**[Blueberry]** MUM PICK NE UP I'M SCARED

**[Blueberry]** I SWAEAR I'M NOT BEING DRAMACITC JUST WAKE PUP PLEASE I'M MORE IMPORTANT THEN SLEEP I KNOW HALF OF YOU DON'T SLEEP THE FUCK

**[Blueberry]** _sobs_

**[Blueberry]** guysu pwllase i'm scared for my life I still haven't made it to nationals

**[Blueberry]** I dom't wanna end up like oikawa-san plz

* * *

**[Blueberry]** FUCK YOU GUYS YOU'RE LUCKU IT WASMY SISTE R I LEFT MY DOORS UNLOCKED I COULD'VE DIED AND YOU WERE SLEEPING AWAY I 'M GOING TO SPIKE SO MANY FUCKING VOLLEYBALLS AT YOUR _HEAD_

**[Blueberry]** and you guys wonder why you're boke's

**[Blueberry]**...

**[Blueberry]** I hope you have nightmares and fucking suffer

**[Blueberry]** 'm gonna go shred some tangerines :)

**[Blueberry]** I'm not serving to any of you tomorrow either since you made me mad and yes this is a big deal I could have died and your all worrying about sLeEp

**[Blueberry]** Goodnight everyone, actually bad night for you all (ง •_•)ง

* * *

**[Tangerine]** HEY WAIT THAT'S UNFAIR IT WAS 3AM WHAT THE HELL IT'S 6AM I WANT YOUR SETS BAKAYAMA

**[Pancake with a side of Bitch]** MEAN TOBIO-CHAN YOU INSULTED ME WITHOUT ME EVEN BEING HERE

**[Humpty dumpty]** do you think our kouhai noticed we ignored him bro..?

**[Blueberry]**...You _w h a t_ .

**[Humpty dumpty]** SHIIT WRONG CHAT

**[They see me Rollingu THUNDA]** BRO YOU BLOWED OUR COVER

**[Sugamama Coochie]**...Dumb, dumb as hell.

**[Humpty dumpty]** we didn't ask to be dragged mom :')

**[Blueberry]** unfortunate, good luck surviving practice :) maybe I can give you a reminder why you shouldn't ignore me.

**[They see me Rollingu THUNDA]**...Daichi can we skip practice-

**[Deadchi]** N o.

**[They see me Rollingu THUNDA]** well _f u c k_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having way too much fun with this series-
> 
> Feel free to request scenarios~ <3

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING OF MY HELL HOLE SO STRAP UP


End file.
